Changing your mind about words

And words changing your mind

Dear friends,

Thank you for your kind replies last week — to the question and to each other. The comments on this Substack are so engaging and engaged. Thank you!

This week, I’ll lead with the question straight off: What is a word that occupies some of your attention? It might be a word that everyone else seems to love but you don’t, or one that you can’t quite wrap your head around even though it takes some of your attention. Maybe it’s a word you used to like but are now less sure, or it’s a word you used to be wary of but now really like. Tell us about it, and share some of your mullings.

I have many such words. One of them is “resilience”. I don’t hate it, and I think that most people who use it are probably using it in very fruitful ways. But sometimes I worry that it asks too much from those who’ve already been failed by a system that now asks them to be the ones manifesting strength.

Another word (apropos of this week’s Poetry Unbound episode on Orlando Menes’s poem) is “grace”. I’m sure it’s a lovely word, and it’s also a gorgeous name. I think I have too many memories of being slammed by this word as a young Catholic who was too often seen as a “needs to be converted to true grace” experiment by evangelical missionaries. I know people who love the word, and I have tried. I can’t rid myself of a flimsy definition of it, though (my problem, not the word’s). However, lately, I have been thinking of the antonym of “grace”: “disgrace”. I have known disgrace, and I have seen others disgraced. Whatever a positive definition of grace is, I can find a strange gate into it through the idea of disgrace.

Beckett on a Berlin wall, March 2015. Photo by Pádraig Ó Tuama

I don’t know that I ever disliked the word “romance”, but I assumed it wasn’t for me. In my mid 20s, I read Niall Williams’s Four Letters of Love and was transfixed by the way he makes the natural world a place for romance (in my recollection, a character stays on an island … the islanders all smell lavender in the air, so they know someone must be heartbroken). Cyrus Cassells’s Poetry Unbound episode this week is an example of a gorgeous romantic language about being in — and open to — the world.

So, once again: What is a word that occupies some of your attention?

For the sake of safety, I’ll say it here, even though I know it’s probably unnecessary: If the word you’re referencing has been a slur to a community you’re not part of, it’s best to find a different word for reflection here.

I look forward to encountering your words in the comments, friends.

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The Latest from Poetry Unbound

Episode 3: Cyrus Cassells — Jasmine

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Episode 4: Orlando Ricardo Menes — Grace

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Poetry in the World

A list of my events: Online and in the US (Berkeley and Palo Alto, CA; Washington, DC; Manhattan, Kingston, and Rhinebeck, NY; Houston, TX; Orlando, FL; Memphis, TN; Notre Dame, IN; Santa Fe, NM) and the UK (Iona, Scotland)

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January 29–31, Berkeley, California

I’ll be joining the Center for Faith and Justice for three days of events, including readings, book signings, and workshops, held at First Presbyterian Church. (For more info, click on the date heading.)

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January 31, Palo Alto, California

I’m participating in a morning retreat and evening keynote address at All Saints’ Episcopal Church, held at 10 a.m. and 6:30 p.m., respectively. (For more info, click on the date heading.)

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February 2, Washington, District of Columbia, and Online

Join poet Marilyn Nelson and myself for a conversation at the Washington National Cathedral at 7 p.m ET. (For more info, click on the date heading.)

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February 11, Online

I’m directing an evening workshop on lyric address through Poets House, beginning at 6 p.m. ET. (for more info, click on the date heading.)

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February 18, Brooklyn, New York

Join me in celebrating the release of R.A. Villanueva’s newest collection at Liz’s Book Bar at 7:00 p.m. (For more info, click on the date heading.)

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February 19, Manhattan, New York

I’m giving a lecture on storytelling and narrative poetry at The Morgan Library at 6:30 p.m. (For more info, click on the date heading.)

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February 21–22, Houston, Texas

Christ Church Cathedral has invited me for two days of events — there will be a retreat exploring conflict, an evening reading and book signing, and a talk on belonging the following morning. (For more information, click on the date heading.)

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February 24, Orlando, Florida

I’m giving a keynote address at Training Magazine’s annual exposition. (For more info, click on the date heading.)

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February 26–March 1, Kingston, New York

I’m leading a weekend retreat workshop called “Poems of Longing”. (For more info, click on the date heading.)

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March 25–26, Memphis, Tennessee, and Online

I’m delighted to be returning to Cavalry Episcopal Church for this year’s Lenten Preaching Series. My good friend Marie Howe and I will be in conversation at 6:15 p.m. on March 25, and I’ll give a talk the next afternoon. (For more information, click on the date heading.)

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April 23, Notre Dame, Indiana

I’ll be giving the keynote for a symposium at the Raclin Murphy Museum of Art. (For more info, click on the date heading.)

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May 31–June 5, Rhinebeck, New York

This spring, I’m leading a six-day workshop at the Omega Institute. We’ll read and examine poems and also write and discuss our own. I’d love to see you there. (For more info, click on the date heading.)

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June 27–July 3, Iona, Scotland

Krista and I will be leading a week of conversation (with some musical guests) on Iona, an island off an island off the west coast of Scotland. It is filled, but if you want to be on a waiting list, you can email the Saint Columba hotel by clicking on the title just above here. (For more info, click on the date heading.)

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August 9–13, Santa Fe, New Mexico

I’m leading a four-day intensive workshop at Modern Elder Academy called “Poetry as a Common Language”. We’ll read, write, and discuss poems on finding and deepening connection. (For more information, click on the date heading.)