Please don't stop, no matter what G*d tells you! Very evocative, especially with your wife and son at church and your staying behind... Love this and thank you, Michael.
Michael, this is so good. You have captured brilliantly, I think, that universal conflict of God, no God. God-fearing family man vs. what? A non-believer? A pantoum for us all.
Adam, I love the way the pantoum comes together and the musing behind it. Am I the only one who enjoys imaging people saying how much they will miss me at my funeral?
I have been thinking about friends I don't seem to have time for any more, and this speaks to me...is every missing a lack? Mike Rosen has a wonderful poem about how people walk with you for a time and then leave you, or you leave them and you try to hold it lightly
Nice, Adam. Your pantoum made me think about Willy Loman and how we all want to be "well liked" in the end. I think the questioning here is something we all do. We can never know anyone else's true feelings, even the people we are closest with. When our daughter was four (she just turned 50... Yikes!) she was on her bed in a time out for lying. We knew we were in trouble when she said, "You can't know if I'm lying, you're not inside my head!"
Thank you. I used to be able to run miles from my apartment to university, just for the sheer joy of it. Now I have to walk with two sticks. I really, really miss being able to run. I guess there is also a very relevant second meaning if you equate the word run with the word escape.
this tells me of the way we go round and round, and come to peace but yet the doubts come again. thank you for this honest reflection.. as an arthritis sufferer I feel it - yesterday I could run...
you will have to get yourself a present of some different cheese.... that doesn't give you nightmares... I love Doux de Montagne myself... when it is your birthday I do hope you DO get presents..
The whole framing of this as your wedding day raises such interesting possibilities. In some way, is every day a wedding day? A bringing together of things in a way never to be repeated?
This one really flows. And I identify so much with the line "When I was younger, I thought I might be famous" then later "and fame might have ruined everything" So wise.
So true for for so many teachers and former teachers, including me. You've captured both the reality of a teacher's load and the joy of having "hundreds of children."
May your last nine days be ones where can you breathe even though your teacher life is ending.
your pantoum works so well, as a poem and letting us into your life. Those blue iris in your dream are (to mix metaphors) a ray of sunshine. May you heal well.
Maya - my condolences. It is a great loss to be robbed of a Dad who is a true mentor. My Dad had a real sense of values and high standards for himself and all the others in his community engagements. As his first-born I think I had more access to his reflections. And - I do not like the word either - and 100 days times 10, or times a thousand - no one else can fill that role.
The day my wife and son go to church
And I stay behind
Although yesterday I spoke something
As I write, I become unraveled
And I stay behind
When I was younger I would draw pictures
As I write, I become unraveled
I couldn’t have known how fast it would go
When I was younger I would draw pictures
And anyway I still draw, well paint
I couldn’t have known how fast it would go
I had a dream that God told me to stop
And anyway I still draw, well paint
Although yesterday I spoke something
I had a dream that God told me to stop
The day my wife and son go to church
This came together so well, and so deep. Keep painting with color and words.
Thank you, Karen. I will!
Writing a pantoum on Sunday has its own rhythms!
Sure does!
Don't stop writing, drawing, or painting. The God/Jesus I know wants to see and hear your thoughts and feelings.
Agree, thank you
Please don't stop, no matter what G*d tells you! Very evocative, especially with your wife and son at church and your staying behind... Love this and thank you, Michael.
~Lisa in VT
Thanks Lisa!
me too, none of us knows how fast it will go..ravel yourself back
Very thought provoking!!!!!
Thank you
i love this
Thank you
Michael, this is so good. You have captured brilliantly, I think, that universal conflict of God, no God. God-fearing family man vs. what? A non-believer? A pantoum for us all.
Wow, thank you for saying that Paul.
Beautifully done Michael.
Thank you
I love your last five or six lines! They pull the whole poem together! Dora Odarenko
Thank you Dora
1. today there is a kind of withdrawing cold that lingers in your fingers around the warm mug of relief
2. and I become stuck in an addictive loop of coffee refills and good intentions to write
3. although yesterday there was space for sunshine and warmth that caused me to move and undulate
4. as I write I feel a contraction of muscle and resistance to the very thing that brings me levity
2. and I become stuck in an addictive loop of coffee refills and good intentions to write
5. when I was younger I rarely resisted the cold and off-putting weather, lunging with galloshes and innocence
4. as I write I feel a contraction of muscle and resistance to the very thing that brings me levity
6. I couldn’t have known that weather could bring one into a depressive, motionless, uninspired state
5. when I was younger I rarely resisted the cold and off-putting weather, lunging with galloshes and innocence
7. and anyway, who would have told me that, with any good sense about them.
6. I couldn’t have known that weather could bring one into a depressive, motionless, uninspired state
8. I had a dream that tidal waves were ready to destroy all I knew after bombs had landed in oceans abroad
7. and anyway, who would have told me that, with any good sense about them.
3. althought yesterday there was space for sunshine and warmth that caused me to move and undulate
8. I had a dream that tidal waves were ready to destroy all I knew after bombs had landed in oceans abroad
1. today there is a kind of withdrawing cold that lingers in your fingers around the warm mug of relief
Today is the day my friends leave
and I think I'll miss them when they're gone
although yesterday I wasn't so sure.
As I write, I wonder about friends
and I think I'll miss them when they're gone.
When I was younger I wanted them to miss me.
As I wrote, I'd wonder about friends:
I couldn’t have known how much I'd miss
when I was younger. I wanted to be missed,
and anyway, is every missing a lack?
I couldn’t have known how much I'd miss.
I had a dream I was stuck, waving at the gate
and anyway, is every missing a lack?
Tomorrow I may not be so sure.
In this one I'm stuck again, waving at the gate.
Today is the day I leave.
Today, a guest in my house
And I am in a spell
Although yesterday holds me too
I hear myself attend
And I am in a spell
Younger, attention magnified
I hear my attention attend
I couldn't have known its gift
Younger, attention magnified
And anyway time is a dress
I couldn't have known its gift
In a dream of presence
And anyway time is a dress
Although yesterday holds me too
In a dream of presence
Today, a guest in my house.
I look forward very much to hearing you speak with Olivia in Borris.😊
I wasn't sure how to read this.. a guest in your own house, or a guest you were hosting... I love the dream of presence...
These lines add up to more than the sum of the numbering! I love the waving at the gate line.
Adam, I love the way the pantoum comes together and the musing behind it. Am I the only one who enjoys imaging people saying how much they will miss me at my funeral?
Total surprise when you went from "my friends leave" in the first line to "I leave" in the last line. Wow!
I have been thinking about friends I don't seem to have time for any more, and this speaks to me...is every missing a lack? Mike Rosen has a wonderful poem about how people walk with you for a time and then leave you, or you leave them and you try to hold it lightly
Gorgeous!
This works so well. You've really caught something
Nice, Adam. Your pantoum made me think about Willy Loman and how we all want to be "well liked" in the end. I think the questioning here is something we all do. We can never know anyone else's true feelings, even the people we are closest with. When our daughter was four (she just turned 50... Yikes!) she was on her bed in a time out for lying. We knew we were in trouble when she said, "You can't know if I'm lying, you're not inside my head!"
“...is every missing a lack?” Wonderful pondering!
Today is my new name's birthday
and I don’t need a chocolate cake.
Although yesterday I craved sweet words
as I write, I think about the departed, about…
And I don’t need a chocolate cake.
When I was younger, I was younger and
as I write about the departed, about how
I couldn’t have known the unknown.
When I was younger, I was younger and,
anyway, who cares about names?
I couldn’t have known the unknown.
I had a dream that I knew it all.
And anyway, who cares about names?
Although yesterday I craved sweet words,
I had a dream that I knew it all.
Today is my new name’s birthday.
"When I was younger, I was younger..." - I do like how sneakily the word younger takes on other colors when repeated like that!
Love this, Jae. I was particularly moved with the lines:
“and I don’t need a chocolate cake. Although yesterday I craved sweet words.”
Love this! What a great opening line - today is my new name’s birthday!
Whether it is a made thing or a real day, happy birthday. 🎈
See you soon, friend!!
"Although yesterday I craved sweet words"!!
lovely especially the link between cake and leaving things behind
Jae, I’ll be returning to this one; there are a lot of layers here. Wonderful writing as ever!
Really powerful, "when I was younger, I was younger". I enjoy the resistance in that!!
Superb!
A still and quiet Sunday
I begin the day in pain
Yesterday, I could run
I hear the tattooed man
I begin the day in pain
I believed I could be loved
I hear the tattooed man
I would never be loved
I believed I could be loved
I make my peace
I would never be loved
I had a dream of you
I make my peace
Yesterday, I could run
I had a dream of you
A still and quiet Sunday
I feel the ache of this one.
I didn’t even realise how much it hurt until the last line hit…
I love this, Wendy! The tattooed man reminded me of "the little lame balloon man whistles far and wee" which is a good echo here.
I also love "yesterday I could run."
Thank you. I used to be able to run miles from my apartment to university, just for the sheer joy of it. Now I have to walk with two sticks. I really, really miss being able to run. I guess there is also a very relevant second meaning if you equate the word run with the word escape.
this tells me of the way we go round and round, and come to peace but yet the doubts come again. thank you for this honest reflection.. as an arthritis sufferer I feel it - yesterday I could run...
wishing you as many low pain days as possible.
Lovely way to share that pain of body and soul. And still peace amid dreams and a still quiet Sunday. Lovely!!!!!
thank you very much.
Oooh and with that last line. Love!!!!
Thank you 🙏
Fab, Wendy!! Especially "I had a dream of you / I make my peace..."
Yes, I love the way that the pantoum reveals unexpected or hidden things. It’s like the tarot of verse forms.
absolutely!
OMG, that was so much fun!!! Here goes...
...
Today, it is delicious, the longing,
and I write that feeling into the page
although yesterday I held it in, unwilling to share it with unhearing ears.
As I write, I let it fill my body, remembering,
and I write that feeling into the page.
When I was younger, I was afraid the vibrating longing would break me and
as I write, I let it fill my body, remembering
I couldn’t have known that the feeling is the seed that feeds the reality.
When I was younger, I was afraid the vibrating longing would break me and -
and anyway, nothing worth existing comes into existence without that longing.
I couldn’t have known that the feeling is the seed that feeds the reality -
I had a dream that the longing was light and I was light with that longing
and anyway nothing worth existing comes into existence without that longing,
although yesterday I held it in, unwilling to share with unhearing ears.
I had a dream that the longing was light and I was light with that longing;
today, it is delicious, the longing.
Anne!! This is such a delight to read; there is much to love. You never fail to "write that feeling into the page".
You are so kind, Lisa Marie!!!
I think it is really skilled the way this comes together and progresses the thinking through the patterned repetition...so well done
Thank you, Nicola!
I share this brilliant light along with the longing
And today isn’t my birthday,
so I didn’t get any presents.
Yesterday I did get some cheese.
I can still smell it.
So I didn’t get any presents.
I loved cheese when I was little,
I can still smell it.
Who knew how delicious it would be.
I loved cheese when I was little.
If a tad unhealthy,
Who knew how delicious it would be.
But it gives me nightmares
If a tad unhealthy,
Yesterday I did get some cheese.
But it gives me nightmares,
And today isn’t my birthday.
I really like this one, even though it's a bit cheesy
An ode to cheese. I love it!
you will have to get yourself a present of some different cheese.... that doesn't give you nightmares... I love Doux de Montagne myself... when it is your birthday I do hope you DO get presents..
Not tried that cheese. I’m guessing French and soft? I had my birthday three weeks ago and got a small selection of haiku books.
yep, a fun one.
Love this one. So fun
Thank you
today is another word for passage
and I will move through it
although yesterday was beautiful
as i write, I still don't know the half of it
and I will move through it
when i was younger i was afraid
as i write, I still don't know the half of it
i couldn't have known who to follow
when i was younger i was afraid
and anyway it's right to feel fear sometimes
i couldn't have known who to follow
I had a dream that I was the dawn
and anyway it's right to feel fear sometimes
although yesterday was beautiful
I had a dream that I was the dawn
today is another word for passage
I love the line "today is another word for passage".
thank you
"I had a dream that I was the dawn..." - so beautiful, Jo!
Agree! My favorite line: "I had a dream that I was the dawn"
I had a dream that I was the dawn….wow!
a wonderful poem for anxiety
Love this, so beautiful, what a dream!
What a compelling starting/finishing line. Jo, I am, as ever, such a fan.
Today it is my wedding day
And I feel relief
Although yesterday I struggled to be alone
As I write, I connect to myself
And I feel relief
When I was younger I sought solitude
As I write, I connect to myself
I couldn't have known how I sought my own despair
When I was younger I sought solitude
And anyway I looked for love
I couldn't have known how I sought my own despair
I had a dream I was forgiven
And anyway I looked for love
Although yesterday I struggled to be alone
I had a dream I was forgiven
Today is my wedding day
forgiveness of self or others is so very personal and intense. As needed, please make it reality.
The whole framing of this as your wedding day raises such interesting possibilities. In some way, is every day a wedding day? A bringing together of things in a way never to be repeated?
PANTOUM DAYS ARE MY FAVORITES!! I love the play of it. Although, I think I might entitle this one, "A random journal entry".
Today is the Lord's day.
and I have plans to go swimming with my friends,
although yesterday, I sat with my aging father.
As I write, morning is trying to arrive
and I have plans to go to the lake with my friends.
When I was younger, I thought I might be famous.
As I write, morning is coming.
I couldn't have known how scared I was.
Younger me thought I might be famous,
and fame might have ruined everything.
I couldn't have known how scared I was, but
I did have a dream my life would matter.
Fame might have ruined everything,
although yesterday, I sat with my aging father.
I had a dream my life would matter.
Today is the Lord's day.
so many of these poems are about fear.. very reassuring,, thank you
This one really flows. And I identify so much with the line "When I was younger, I thought I might be famous" then later "and fame might have ruined everything" So wise.
ahhhhh i love this one
Me too!
Today, it is nine days from the last day of my 27th year of teaching
and I have a large stack of papers to grade and a mountain of issues to resolve
although yesterday I took a day of rest to sit under a tree
As I write, I think about the new lives I've become familiar with, responsible for, attached to
and I have a large stack of papers to grade and a mountain of issues to resolve
When I was younger I wanted to be a lawyer, of all things
As I write, I think about the new lives I've become familiar with, responsible for, attached to
I couldn’t have known I would have hundreds of children, not just one
When I was younger I didn't understand the concept of wanting to be
and anyway, with the days of this latest ride coming to an end
I couldn’t have known I would have hundreds of children, not just one
I had a dream that I could take a deep deep breath
and anyway, with the days of this latest ride coming to an end
although yesterday I took a day of rest to sit under a tree
I had a dream that I could take a deep deep breath
Today, it is nine days from the last day of my 27th year of teaching
So true for for so many teachers and former teachers, including me. You've captured both the reality of a teacher's load and the joy of having "hundreds of children."
May your last nine days be ones where can you breathe even though your teacher life is ending.
Just ending for the summer. I have a ways to go… :)
I felt such resonance with your poem -being a recently retired teacher myself.
I hope you are taking many deep deep breaths
I have been!! Life is good!
Today I’ll walk in the woods and hear Cardinal calls
I’ll have to tilt my head back so far to see the sky
Although yesterday I couldn’t even find the moon
As I write, I see my shoes smudged with clay dirt
I’ll have to tilt my head back so far to see the sky
When I was younger I lived where the sky filled our eyes and the Meadowlark lilted
As I write, I see my shoes smudged with clay dirt
I couldn’t have known those in charge didn’t care about Meadowlarks
When I was younger I lived where the sky filled our eyes and the Meadowlark lilted
And anyway, isn’t it about time for a new state bird?
I couldn’t have known those in charge didn’t care about Meadowlarks
I dreamed in horizontal
And anyway, isn’t it about time for a new state bird?
Although yesterday I couldn’t even find the moon
I dreamed in horizontal
Today I’ll walk in the woods and hear Cardinal calls
My late husband, the birder, would have loved this. I love it myself.
Today, it is grey, windy, dull
and I see the roads pass quickly
although yesterday I delighted in the journey
As I write, I feel only the fatigue
and I see the roads pass quickly
When I was younger I wanted to see everything
As I write, I feel only the fatigue
I couldn’t have known how difference was within
When I was younger I wanted to see everything
and anyway there isn't time to see it all
I couldn’t have known how difference was within
I had a dream that colour, life, gathered 'round
and anyway there isn't time to see it all
although yesterday I delighted in the journey
I had a dream that colour, life, gathered 'round
Today, it is grey, windy, dull
Great line, "As I write, I feel only the fatigue". I was leaning towards something like that myself, but you've captured it more crisply. Thank you.
I had these thoughts as well as I wondered what to write, thank you for shaping them so well
thank you, I am new to this special community and way of sharing experience
Pantoum About Time
Today it is three hundred fifteen days post surgery.
I still endure pain and edema whatever I do.
Although yesterday compassion and forgiveness entered my heart,
as I write it’s anger and fear and grief that flood my body.
I still endure pain and edema whatever I do.
When I was younger I learned not to trust what I felt.
As I write it’s anger and fear and grief that flood my body.
I couldn’t have know the damage that comes from neglect.
When I was younger I learned not to trust what I felt.
Life had lessons of suffering to teach me.
I couldn’t have known the damage that comes from neglect.
In my dream a thousand blue iris have blossomed overnight.
Life had lessons of suffering to teach me
although yesterday compassion and forgiveness entered my heart.
In my dream a thousand blue iris have blossomed overnight.
Today it is three hundred fifteen days post surgery.
Please stay with the irises, which bloom like hope out of your pain
your pantoum works so well, as a poem and letting us into your life. Those blue iris in your dream are (to mix metaphors) a ray of sunshine. May you heal well.
Bless you as you navigate the great wisdom of your body, and of the irises, and of yourself.
We both used "damage" in line 6 and wrote about flowers
and learning....
thanks for the simpatico
Today it is hot enough to bake a loaf of bread on rock
And I am thinking about thirst in Gaza
Although yesterday I tried to look at peonies
As I write, each word is a small and silent prayer
And I am thinking about thirst in Gaza
When I was younger I went to the Holy Land
As I write each word is a small and silent prayer
I couldn’t have known it would be razed and wired
When I was younger I went to the Holy Land
And anyway what can I do but witness
I should have known it would be razed and wired
I had a dream that stones were bread, and tears were water
And anyway what I can do is witness
Although yesterday I tried to look at peonies
I had a dream that stones were bread, and tears were water
Today it is hot enough to bake a loaf of bread on rock
Really powerful. Great use of the pantoum to make an important witness.
Love the opening line…
Very powerful.
wonderful!
"And anyway what can I do but witness"
yes.
Today, it is Pentecost
And I will wear red
Although yesterday it rained all day
As I write, I lean to open a window
And I will wear red
When I was younger, I felt bad for my Mom
As I write, I lean to open a window
I couldn't have known I'd become her
When I was younger, I felt bad for my Mom
And anyway, I married my Dad
I couldn't have known I'd become her
I had a dream we solved problems together
And anyway, I married my Dad
Although yesterday, it rained all day
I had a dream we'd solve problems together
Today, it is Pentecost.
This evokes so many questions and juxtaposes what is with what is desired, both of which I love for poems to do. Well done, Maria.
You say such powerful things so well!
Today it is 100 days since my dad — I do not like the word
And I am sadder than I knew sad could be
Although yesterday I was laughing with children, singing happy birthday
As I write I listen to the rain, wonder what is next.
And I am sadder than I knew sad could be
When I was younger, I asked my dad anything I did not know
As I write I listen to the rain, wonder what is next
I couldn’t have known how death would come.
When I was younger, I asked my dad anything I did not know
And anyway, not knowing is at times a gift
I couldn’t have known how death would come
I had a dream that my mom visited, made the bed, and hugged me.
Is not knowing at times a gift?
Although yesterday I was laughing with children, singing happy birthday
I had a dream that my mom visited, made the final bed my dad lay on, and hugged me
Today it is 100 days since my dad — I do not like the word.
This is beautiful, Mona. I'm holding you in my thoughts.
Ohh, thank you thank you dear Jenny Noble Anderson :-) ❤️🩹💞🙏🏾
Maya - my condolences. It is a great loss to be robbed of a Dad who is a true mentor. My Dad had a real sense of values and high standards for himself and all the others in his community engagements. As his first-born I think I had more access to his reflections. And - I do not like the word either - and 100 days times 10, or times a thousand - no one else can fill that role.
Thank you so much, Patty ❤️🩹🙏🏾.