Amen to that! I've been struggling to spell it "correctly" my whole life. The invention of Spell Check has helped but my handwritten journals and letters are still a mess of cross-outs and try-agains. I was so relieved to encounter a language like Numu (Northern Paiute) that has no standardized spelling. You just spell the words however you hear them, which really made me wonder about the mind-set of we English speakers who insist one can standardize the spelling of a language with so many illogical exceptions to its owns "rules!"
Agreed, and I made it worse by reading a lot of British novelist as a US middle schooler and didn't realize until college (when a prof took me to task about it) that I was using all the British-English spellings.
Thank you Padraig, once again you’ve left me with my head spinning. I’m with you completely on the left-right vs east-west thing. My wife has east, west, north and south hardwired into her. We buy a house and she talks about the west gardens. I say, gently at first, ‘is that the garden by the road?’ She really wants to add shelves to the north wall of the back room, ‘oh the wall looking out towards the garage’ I say. After five years in this house I’m well situated with the direction of the east rising sun and moon. We just bought a new one however and we’re starting all over again. I’ll try not to be so slow to catch on this time! Thankfully.
Yes, Lee! I had to call 911 a few weeks ago when I witnessed a boy jumping off a bridge. (Sidenote: He ended up fine. It was a dare. And, yes, I wrote a poem about it.) The dispatcher quickly spouted off questions like, "Were you driving eastbound? Was the boy jumping north?" I'm laughing as I type this because I HAD NO IDEA and totally panicked. Like Padraig, I conjured up my handy tool—"Sun rises in the East and sets in the West" and answered him after a VEEEEERY long pause. YES to using landmarks versus cardinal directions! Was the boy jumping in the direction of that Osprey nest on the floating buoy? Absolutely. I mean...come on. Make it easy!
I have a basic math problem because I can never remember whether the initial thing is counted. It becomes especially difficult with dates, when someone asks me to meet in three days I don't know if I am supposed to count the day we are in. I always have to ask for clarification by suggesting an exact date or time. It's embarrassing to me that basic counting is an issue for me; however, I realized my issue was actually a lack of precision with language. When I was a child, math teachers belittled me for my inability to count but now I know why.
This makes me so mad. So many of us have a story about a particular teacher who really screwed with our developing minds. I didn’t understand why one of my 4th grade teachers seemed to be offended by me, and ridiculed me in class. Then I watched The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie, and realized she WAS Jean Brodie, and I was awkward, inadequate Mary MacGregor. 😂 Thank you, Dame Maggie Smith!
I misspell a few things every time, usually when ei or ie are next to each other in the middle of the word, but I usually catch it the second after. What drives me crazy is when I exchange an it's for an its. I know the difference! I'm an English teacher! But I'm a terrible proofreader; I tend to see what I meant to write rather than what's actually on the page, so I miss that one every time and think, Dammit! They're going to think I'm an idiot.
Thank goodness I wasn't an English teacher. I'm sure I would have been all about correcting spelling and grammar instead of looking for meaning, nuance, depth. Now (usually), I manage not to wince when I hear a friend say "Him and me were on a walk and really understood each other for the first time ever." (did I put the period in the right place there? I think there's some crazy rule about it being different depending which punctuation mark you're using. Or is that about parentheses?)
The thing about being an English teacher is that you learn that grammar is descriptive, and that all varieties of English-speaking people only 10-15% of which are native speakers, speak English differently, and that is ok, so long as effective communication takes place. I've never been less of a corrector of other people's grammar.
My experience has taught me that the injury to self esteem inflicted early in a persons life when they progress at a rate that differs from the norm or think differently than the education model demands costs us dearly as human beings.
Choosing to focus on effective communication over nitpicking grammar is a wonderful approach to enabling everyone to contribute. Thank you for sharing this.
The guest on the most recent episode of "Hidden Brain" on NPR discussed how schools and parents intervene too often in children's free play, stifling the learning that comes from child-to-child resolution of conflict, creativity and development of responsibility for their own behavior, rather than enforcement of behavioral rules by adults.
I also consistently struggle with the ei vs ie problem. There are just too many exceptions to that rule to keep in my head. Thank goodness for spell checker.
When I was an elementary school administrator a third grade teacher brought a list of a student’s spelling test to me to affirm her decision to give the child a perfect score on his spelling test of twenty words even though every word was perfectly and neatly spelled backwards. The teacher wanted to affirm the student so she took a mirror and placed it alongside the edge of the word list which righted the reversed letters. When she showed the list to the student he was totally surprised as he had no clue what he had done. Technically, the student had misspelled every word but rather than make him do it over, the teacher used some magic and joyfully gave the student a perfect score.
Not to get too dark (poets? never!), but I can't think about mistakes without thinking about parenting. My mistakes feel most glaring in this area of my life. I find myself in too many dark corridors, weeping over them. I'm learning to meet myself there, and accept that even the weeping can be turned into a strange form of success, because it opens me up to making repairs. It doesn't usually *feel* that way, in the moment - it's all so full of shame & grief - but it's a beginning.
I raised two daughters on my own, Amanda, so I relate very much to your words. But words from my elder daughter saved me. When she was in college, I told her that I wished I could do it over again (assuming that knowing better I would do better). She hugged me and said, "We always knew you loved us, mom. Not everybody has that."
Thank you Rebecca. I am with you 100%: I so wish I could go back and re-do so many things. I know so much more know. And I re-parented myself so my own system is more organized, less self-shaming, calmer. I am heartened by the idea that who I am as a mother to my 26- and 31-year old children makes a difference in their lives now. I continue to make mistakes, but I see them more quickly. I think my kids know I loved them. Thank you for reminding me!
Thank you for your vulnerability. I think we would be hard-pressed to find anyone who didn't make parenting mistakes. We all do the best we can. I think it's wise to find people who lift you up and encourage you, rather than mire you down in more shame and grief and try and hold yourself to this, too. It is okay to make mistakes in life, that is how we learn and grow and write great poetry, right? And that you love yourself and your kids and you forgive yourself.
There is also nothing wrong with talking to your kids and being honest with them. Every time I think I could have handled something better, I tell my kids - whoa, I didn't handle that great and I'm sorry. I want them to see that is all normal and part of life. XO
Thank you, Amanda. The way you've phrased the parenting struggle feels healing to me. I raised my son and daughter on my own. Just this morning I'm thinking of a conversation yesterday with my daughter, 26, who's graduating from college in two weeks. She had given a final report on food scarcity and brought in Palestine and apparently got passionate at the end. The TA said, "Um... okay... not sure how our topic got so serious and intense." I said to my daughter, "You'll be giving a lot of speeches in your work. Maybe don't be as intense so that the audience can really hear what you're saying and not be overwhelmed by your emotion." I was afraid for her, not wanting her to be shamed like she felt by the TA's remarks, so my advice was: tampt down your passion. But I'm sure I shamed her in that moment in the In&Out drive-through by telling her not to be intense about extremely intense things, like war. So, parenting mistakes continue for me. Rupture and repair is my mantra. Thanks again for bring parenting into the mix here.
An old school friend asked if I had any photos of her from our school days - she had destroyed every photo because all she learned in school was to feel bad about herself.
Certain teachers labelled her as ‘thick’ because she had difficulty reading and spelling. She’s a great storyteller but struggled with writing.
Also reminds me of my daughter using a few Irish words in her English essays and getting big angry red marks on her copybook. I told her the teacher had no ‘meas’ on her language skills.
My most frequent mistake is not asking for help when I need it. I know the roots of this go back to childhood, but I don’t quite know how to untangle them. I’ve tried not to be a bother most of my life, which is to say I do my best not to take up too much space. Recently divorced, I’ve had to confront my reluctance to ask others for help. Just yesterday, I was hosting a family brunch, and after struggling for ages with the seemingly straightforward task of extending the dining table, I took a deep breath and called my very kind ex-husband and asked if he and our son could come before everyone else and help me. Living alone for the first time in 30 years, I’ve had to ask for help a number of times - for things I feel foolish about. But I’ve also had to ask for help dealing with emotions. And it’s hard to fight that early conditioning and reach out to someone and say, “I’m suffering. I need help.” (and do it without apologizing). If I can give help freely and without expectation of anything in return, why do I struggle so with asking for it?
thank you so much for sharing this, Erin. I can relate, (divorce, asking for help, how difficult it was just to ask a friend to accompany me to a medical test!)... I am reminded of this buddhist teaching, "equalize self and other." I remind myself of it as it does not say "others are better than self." it says - not better, not worse. don't make yourself an exception. let go of this fixation on self. for me I realized that this applies even to something like asking for help, to being able/willing to be vulnerable and express that vulnerability in a real way. not easy to practice, but an aspiration...
Erin!! Thank you for this share. I, too, have this same problem. I try really hard not to be a bother and also no one was around when I was growing up, so there was no one to ask for help. I did everything for myself and I programmed myself to be this way, so it is very hard for me to ask for help. Totally get it!! Kudos to you for reaching out when you have needed to. XO
I often make the mistake of thinking that mistakes should be avoided at all cost. It is the shadow side of being raised to be saintly. I have come to realize that saints are also sinners. The kindness and understanding of others has often met me in the corridor. Becoming more human — more humane — is my corrective; yes, we can learn from our mistakes. By the way, I definitely have trouble remembering the spelling of the word “definitely” — and I am happy to report that there is no need for me to be embarrassed (had to look up the spelling of “embarrassed”).
Still laughing at the beautiful ironies of misspelling definitely and embarassing. Embarrassed is easier. Just think of bare assed and the one r will always stay with you!
Pádraig, these are encouraging thoughts about believing in oneself, vital messages we need today. Education, however it comes to us, connects us to ourselves and to the world. My most frequent mistake is forgetting how frequently I make mistakes. My relationship to it? It keeps me both humble and grateful. This allows me to keep making art, always in the corridor.
As soon as I would walk in the door of my father and stepmother’s house I would start mixing up when to use “ he” and “him”, and “I” and “me”. “He and I went to…..” would come out “Him and I “. They would toss their hands in despair. I never did learn how to do percentages, though my hubby has helped me with that one, as well as the east-west, north- south. I am not perfect on any of them yet, but at my age, 75, it doesn’t upset me as much.
I constantly misspell resaerch, mixing up the a and e. Not sure why, but it probably comes down to not being the best typer. Probably another mistake, if you call it that, is constant imposter syndrome. I teach in a field that prizes overflowing cv’s filled with published papers, service projects, successfully funded grants, and in techniques — none of which I have or feel that I’ve achieved successfully. Over 10 years as an adjunct instructor hasn’t diminished my passion, but it’s human nature to desire external validation; perhaps that would persuade some of my imposter syndrome.
Maybe it would give me time for more resaerch, I mean research.
Jonathan, I'm glad your relationship with the a and e in research hasn't diminished your passion. Teaching is (or should be) an act of self-giving. You give your mind and heart to students who become an invisible part of your CV. That's how I think about my work in education at least, where competition is the rule, and compassion, connection, and care is the exception. Thank you for the work you do!
Thank you for those remarks, Lori. I like the idea of students being the "invisible part of your CV". For educators, students are the reason you labor and stress and labor again. Staying the course is such a challenge when it financially doesn't make sense. I'm just hoping that the course doesn't wear me down too much.
I agree: the amount of energy it takes to teach well and the actual value of the work do not come with commensurate remuneration. We're upside-down on what makes for a good life in so many ways. Good thinking, good mentoring, good writing, those things matter. But being good at them doesn't impact our material lives. And they should. Hang in there.
I have struggled with what seems to be the way of science and educational institutions and career advancement to jump through all the hoops and self-promote. I hope you find a way to exist in the systems as yourself; each individual person has unique contributions to bring to the party, the table, the community.
I hate self-promotion while recognizing that it is what the system demands (at least for now or until I transplant myself into a different sytem). Manifesting individuality and uniqueness — two things I will continually strive towards. Thanks for your kind remarks.
Will I ever learn not to trust my first impressions of someone I have just encountered? My judgment brain kicks into gear even before we've spoken a word to each other. Too often the judgment (shouldn't it be judgement, by the way?) is negative. I can harbor it for days or weeks, through many meetings even, until something happens that makes me realize "I've done it again."
Wow, you took me right back to one of my favorite Three Stooges skit when Curly delivers your opening line. My cohort embraced it as a reply to any taunt , usually deescalating rather than heating up the exchange.
Great quote about beauty. I searched for it on the internet. I didn't find it, but did find a whole essay about Kant's aesthetic that uses the word "beauty" 53 times, and "judgment" over 200 times, often in relation to each other. I need to go back and read the essay carefully and probably won't. I wonder if Kant's thinking is what led to your quote? Here's what I found: https://iep.utm.edu/kantaest/
The English language is designed to be misspelled.
Amen to that! I've been struggling to spell it "correctly" my whole life. The invention of Spell Check has helped but my handwritten journals and letters are still a mess of cross-outs and try-agains. I was so relieved to encounter a language like Numu (Northern Paiute) that has no standardized spelling. You just spell the words however you hear them, which really made me wonder about the mind-set of we English speakers who insist one can standardize the spelling of a language with so many illogical exceptions to its owns "rules!"
Truer words have never been spoken.
Absolutely! English orthography is not phonemic. Italian is written exactly as it is pronounced.
Definetly
I didn't even notice the first thyme.
Sometimes it just goes like tat
Agreed, and I made it worse by reading a lot of British novelist as a US middle schooler and didn't realize until college (when a prof took me to task about it) that I was using all the British-English spellings.
Same! Though my professor thought it was cool, given that his specialty was British literature. :)
Thank you Padraig, once again you’ve left me with my head spinning. I’m with you completely on the left-right vs east-west thing. My wife has east, west, north and south hardwired into her. We buy a house and she talks about the west gardens. I say, gently at first, ‘is that the garden by the road?’ She really wants to add shelves to the north wall of the back room, ‘oh the wall looking out towards the garage’ I say. After five years in this house I’m well situated with the direction of the east rising sun and moon. We just bought a new one however and we’re starting all over again. I’ll try not to be so slow to catch on this time! Thankfully.
Enjoy a healing cup of tea in the east sitting room of the new house, Lee!
Yes, Lee! I had to call 911 a few weeks ago when I witnessed a boy jumping off a bridge. (Sidenote: He ended up fine. It was a dare. And, yes, I wrote a poem about it.) The dispatcher quickly spouted off questions like, "Were you driving eastbound? Was the boy jumping north?" I'm laughing as I type this because I HAD NO IDEA and totally panicked. Like Padraig, I conjured up my handy tool—"Sun rises in the East and sets in the West" and answered him after a VEEEEERY long pause. YES to using landmarks versus cardinal directions! Was the boy jumping in the direction of that Osprey nest on the floating buoy? Absolutely. I mean...come on. Make it easy!
Glad all went well, and good for you to care!
I have a basic math problem because I can never remember whether the initial thing is counted. It becomes especially difficult with dates, when someone asks me to meet in three days I don't know if I am supposed to count the day we are in. I always have to ask for clarification by suggesting an exact date or time. It's embarrassing to me that basic counting is an issue for me; however, I realized my issue was actually a lack of precision with language. When I was a child, math teachers belittled me for my inability to count but now I know why.
I still can’t count and it’s often so embarrassing. Thanks for this acknowledgment that I am not stupid.
You are not stupid. Probably a language nerd :)
This makes me so mad. So many of us have a story about a particular teacher who really screwed with our developing minds. I didn’t understand why one of my 4th grade teachers seemed to be offended by me, and ridiculed me in class. Then I watched The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie, and realized she WAS Jean Brodie, and I was awkward, inadequate Mary MacGregor. 😂 Thank you, Dame Maggie Smith!
I misspell a few things every time, usually when ei or ie are next to each other in the middle of the word, but I usually catch it the second after. What drives me crazy is when I exchange an it's for an its. I know the difference! I'm an English teacher! But I'm a terrible proofreader; I tend to see what I meant to write rather than what's actually on the page, so I miss that one every time and think, Dammit! They're going to think I'm an idiot.
Thank goodness I wasn't an English teacher. I'm sure I would have been all about correcting spelling and grammar instead of looking for meaning, nuance, depth. Now (usually), I manage not to wince when I hear a friend say "Him and me were on a walk and really understood each other for the first time ever." (did I put the period in the right place there? I think there's some crazy rule about it being different depending which punctuation mark you're using. Or is that about parentheses?)
The thing about being an English teacher is that you learn that grammar is descriptive, and that all varieties of English-speaking people only 10-15% of which are native speakers, speak English differently, and that is ok, so long as effective communication takes place. I've never been less of a corrector of other people's grammar.
My experience has taught me that the injury to self esteem inflicted early in a persons life when they progress at a rate that differs from the norm or think differently than the education model demands costs us dearly as human beings.
Choosing to focus on effective communication over nitpicking grammar is a wonderful approach to enabling everyone to contribute. Thank you for sharing this.
The guest on the most recent episode of "Hidden Brain" on NPR discussed how schools and parents intervene too often in children's free play, stifling the learning that comes from child-to-child resolution of conflict, creativity and development of responsibility for their own behavior, rather than enforcement of behavioral rules by adults.
I just listened to the episode- spot on - thanks!
I also consistently struggle with the ei vs ie problem. There are just too many exceptions to that rule to keep in my head. Thank goodness for spell checker.
Shouldn’t that be damnit😏
Poetic license!
When I was an elementary school administrator a third grade teacher brought a list of a student’s spelling test to me to affirm her decision to give the child a perfect score on his spelling test of twenty words even though every word was perfectly and neatly spelled backwards. The teacher wanted to affirm the student so she took a mirror and placed it alongside the edge of the word list which righted the reversed letters. When she showed the list to the student he was totally surprised as he had no clue what he had done. Technically, the student had misspelled every word but rather than make him do it over, the teacher used some magic and joyfully gave the student a perfect score.
I love this teacher.
I forgot to mention she gave him an "tnellecxE"
A deep dive on mirror writing: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2117809/#:~:text=Mirror%20writing%20is%20an%20unusual,easily%20read%20using%20a%20mirror.
wow!
I see what you did there madam!
This is one amazing teacher! Thank you for this beautiful story, Denny.
The best teachers know when to work their magic - lovely story.
Brilliant.
Not to get too dark (poets? never!), but I can't think about mistakes without thinking about parenting. My mistakes feel most glaring in this area of my life. I find myself in too many dark corridors, weeping over them. I'm learning to meet myself there, and accept that even the weeping can be turned into a strange form of success, because it opens me up to making repairs. It doesn't usually *feel* that way, in the moment - it's all so full of shame & grief - but it's a beginning.
I raised two daughters on my own, Amanda, so I relate very much to your words. But words from my elder daughter saved me. When she was in college, I told her that I wished I could do it over again (assuming that knowing better I would do better). She hugged me and said, "We always knew you loved us, mom. Not everybody has that."
Thank you Rebecca. I am with you 100%: I so wish I could go back and re-do so many things. I know so much more know. And I re-parented myself so my own system is more organized, less self-shaming, calmer. I am heartened by the idea that who I am as a mother to my 26- and 31-year old children makes a difference in their lives now. I continue to make mistakes, but I see them more quickly. I think my kids know I loved them. Thank you for reminding me!
What a gift!! That is beautiful
Dearest Amanda,
Thank you for your vulnerability. I think we would be hard-pressed to find anyone who didn't make parenting mistakes. We all do the best we can. I think it's wise to find people who lift you up and encourage you, rather than mire you down in more shame and grief and try and hold yourself to this, too. It is okay to make mistakes in life, that is how we learn and grow and write great poetry, right? And that you love yourself and your kids and you forgive yourself.
There is also nothing wrong with talking to your kids and being honest with them. Every time I think I could have handled something better, I tell my kids - whoa, I didn't handle that great and I'm sorry. I want them to see that is all normal and part of life. XO
Thank you, Amanda. The way you've phrased the parenting struggle feels healing to me. I raised my son and daughter on my own. Just this morning I'm thinking of a conversation yesterday with my daughter, 26, who's graduating from college in two weeks. She had given a final report on food scarcity and brought in Palestine and apparently got passionate at the end. The TA said, "Um... okay... not sure how our topic got so serious and intense." I said to my daughter, "You'll be giving a lot of speeches in your work. Maybe don't be as intense so that the audience can really hear what you're saying and not be overwhelmed by your emotion." I was afraid for her, not wanting her to be shamed like she felt by the TA's remarks, so my advice was: tampt down your passion. But I'm sure I shamed her in that moment in the In&Out drive-through by telling her not to be intense about extremely intense things, like war. So, parenting mistakes continue for me. Rupture and repair is my mantra. Thanks again for bring parenting into the mix here.
Honest musings, Amanda: “. . . because it opens up to making repairs.” Small steps. Wise thinking!
I love this in so many ways.
My sister Orla autocorrects to Orlando!
An old school friend asked if I had any photos of her from our school days - she had destroyed every photo because all she learned in school was to feel bad about herself.
Certain teachers labelled her as ‘thick’ because she had difficulty reading and spelling. She’s a great storyteller but struggled with writing.
Also reminds me of my daughter using a few Irish words in her English essays and getting big angry red marks on her copybook. I told her the teacher had no ‘meas’ on her language skills.
My most frequent mistake is not asking for help when I need it. I know the roots of this go back to childhood, but I don’t quite know how to untangle them. I’ve tried not to be a bother most of my life, which is to say I do my best not to take up too much space. Recently divorced, I’ve had to confront my reluctance to ask others for help. Just yesterday, I was hosting a family brunch, and after struggling for ages with the seemingly straightforward task of extending the dining table, I took a deep breath and called my very kind ex-husband and asked if he and our son could come before everyone else and help me. Living alone for the first time in 30 years, I’ve had to ask for help a number of times - for things I feel foolish about. But I’ve also had to ask for help dealing with emotions. And it’s hard to fight that early conditioning and reach out to someone and say, “I’m suffering. I need help.” (and do it without apologizing). If I can give help freely and without expectation of anything in return, why do I struggle so with asking for it?
thank you so much for sharing this, Erin. I can relate, (divorce, asking for help, how difficult it was just to ask a friend to accompany me to a medical test!)... I am reminded of this buddhist teaching, "equalize self and other." I remind myself of it as it does not say "others are better than self." it says - not better, not worse. don't make yourself an exception. let go of this fixation on self. for me I realized that this applies even to something like asking for help, to being able/willing to be vulnerable and express that vulnerability in a real way. not easy to practice, but an aspiration...
"I'm suffering. I need help." Words we welcome and respond to from others but struggle to utter ourselves. Thank you so much for sharing this.
Erin!! Thank you for this share. I, too, have this same problem. I try really hard not to be a bother and also no one was around when I was growing up, so there was no one to ask for help. I did everything for myself and I programmed myself to be this way, so it is very hard for me to ask for help. Totally get it!! Kudos to you for reaching out when you have needed to. XO
Erin, I can relate to your feelings. I pray for you the courage to continue to ask for what you need.
Such honest and insightful thoughts. Thank you, Erin!
For me that struggle centers on my gut held belief that I do not deserve it. I can see my improvement over time but it still creeps in.
I often make the mistake of thinking that mistakes should be avoided at all cost. It is the shadow side of being raised to be saintly. I have come to realize that saints are also sinners. The kindness and understanding of others has often met me in the corridor. Becoming more human — more humane — is my corrective; yes, we can learn from our mistakes. By the way, I definitely have trouble remembering the spelling of the word “definitely” — and I am happy to report that there is no need for me to be embarrassed (had to look up the spelling of “embarrassed”).
Still laughing at the beautiful ironies of misspelling definitely and embarassing. Embarrassed is easier. Just think of bare assed and the one r will always stay with you!
Me too - definitely-helps if I remember “finite” is in there!
I have had so much trouble learning how to spell 'embarrassed' 😅
I don’t make misteaks. 😉
OMG! Best comment ever ;-). LOL
Pádraig, these are encouraging thoughts about believing in oneself, vital messages we need today. Education, however it comes to us, connects us to ourselves and to the world. My most frequent mistake is forgetting how frequently I make mistakes. My relationship to it? It keeps me both humble and grateful. This allows me to keep making art, always in the corridor.
As soon as I would walk in the door of my father and stepmother’s house I would start mixing up when to use “ he” and “him”, and “I” and “me”. “He and I went to…..” would come out “Him and I “. They would toss their hands in despair. I never did learn how to do percentages, though my hubby has helped me with that one, as well as the east-west, north- south. I am not perfect on any of them yet, but at my age, 75, it doesn’t upset me as much.
I constantly misspell resaerch, mixing up the a and e. Not sure why, but it probably comes down to not being the best typer. Probably another mistake, if you call it that, is constant imposter syndrome. I teach in a field that prizes overflowing cv’s filled with published papers, service projects, successfully funded grants, and in techniques — none of which I have or feel that I’ve achieved successfully. Over 10 years as an adjunct instructor hasn’t diminished my passion, but it’s human nature to desire external validation; perhaps that would persuade some of my imposter syndrome.
Maybe it would give me time for more resaerch, I mean research.
Jonathan, I'm glad your relationship with the a and e in research hasn't diminished your passion. Teaching is (or should be) an act of self-giving. You give your mind and heart to students who become an invisible part of your CV. That's how I think about my work in education at least, where competition is the rule, and compassion, connection, and care is the exception. Thank you for the work you do!
Thank you for those remarks, Lori. I like the idea of students being the "invisible part of your CV". For educators, students are the reason you labor and stress and labor again. Staying the course is such a challenge when it financially doesn't make sense. I'm just hoping that the course doesn't wear me down too much.
I agree: the amount of energy it takes to teach well and the actual value of the work do not come with commensurate remuneration. We're upside-down on what makes for a good life in so many ways. Good thinking, good mentoring, good writing, those things matter. But being good at them doesn't impact our material lives. And they should. Hang in there.
I have struggled with what seems to be the way of science and educational institutions and career advancement to jump through all the hoops and self-promote. I hope you find a way to exist in the systems as yourself; each individual person has unique contributions to bring to the party, the table, the community.
I hate self-promotion while recognizing that it is what the system demands (at least for now or until I transplant myself into a different sytem). Manifesting individuality and uniqueness — two things I will continually strive towards. Thanks for your kind remarks.
Will I ever learn not to trust my first impressions of someone I have just encountered? My judgment brain kicks into gear even before we've spoken a word to each other. Too often the judgment (shouldn't it be judgement, by the way?) is negative. I can harbor it for days or weeks, through many meetings even, until something happens that makes me realize "I've done it again."
I resemble that remark, Phil. I read this quote recently...
‘… perhaps true beauty is something that draws our attention at second glance, once the judgment of a first glance has realized its mistake.’
I’m trying to recall it in all circumstances!
Wow, you took me right back to one of my favorite Three Stooges skit when Curly delivers your opening line. My cohort embraced it as a reply to any taunt , usually deescalating rather than heating up the exchange.
Great quote about beauty. I searched for it on the internet. I didn't find it, but did find a whole essay about Kant's aesthetic that uses the word "beauty" 53 times, and "judgment" over 200 times, often in relation to each other. I need to go back and read the essay carefully and probably won't. I wonder if Kant's thinking is what led to your quote? Here's what I found: https://iep.utm.edu/kantaest/
Hey Phil,
I guess I should remember to site my quotes...perhaps a MISTAKE on my account?! 😳
I get a newsletter from Nic Askew of Inner View. You might have to do another internet search, but he is quite good.
As far as Kant...I have a vague memory of dropping Philosophy the first week of my freshman year in college...
probably not an influence here.
My mistake, getting lost in the quest for meaning, purpose and wholeness, when I just need to do the dishes.
lol
Thank you for writing!
I turned my auto correct off... it seemed slow at first, now I think it's faster even though I type slower...