“I read and walked for miles at night along the beach, writing bad blank verse and searching endlessly for someone wonderful who would step out of the darkness and change my life. It never crossed my mind that that person could be me.” -Anna Quindlen
Amazing, Jenny! What a loving way to listen to yourself and then take that first courageous step. I'm so glad to know you've been "here and clear" for 8 1/2 years - and what a joy it is to have witnessed your presence and clarity in the past few months of getting to know you here and in our small, and powerful writer's group!
Jenny, Brava to you, to your 8 1/2 years. Thank you for sharing those words that so transformed you. No doubt your voice and light now transform others...
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting -
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
This section from Mary Oliver's poem Wild Geese has comforted me in times of extreme loneliness, and still does. Sometimes it can feel like loneliness is unbearable, and you can't possibly keep living in such a state, but knowing that you belong to the world and can go out and be in it gives me strength. I don't doubt that this poem has saved lives.
Leonard Cohen, another modern day mystic... This line propelled me into the thought that I was healable and that all of my life experiences were part of me. That the cracks did not mean I was broken, but that I was opening.
I'm absolutely in alignment with this thought, Corie, and it's taken years and more than a few listens to this gorgeous wisdom from Leonard Cohen to understand it. I love how you explain the meaning here.
Ohhh, yes!!! This is one of my favorite inspirations of all time.
Thank you for the reminder.
My sentence lately has been "Grief is the price we pay for love". by Queen Elizabeth II. Each day that I am alive and my youngest son is not is a reminder of the incredible intense joy and heartbreak of this temporary life. I must say much of the poetry that has opened my eyes in the past few years has been thanks to Padraig's sharing and teaching. Thank you for this.
For 25 years, I have been saying grieving is part of the gift of loving, but I never realized Queen Elizabeth said, "Grief is the price we pay for love." Thank you for her perspective and yours. Thank you for sharing your heartbreak. I join you in gratitude for poetry.
I’m so happy to see this here... I was just thinking of the version of that line that I first (mis)heard: ‘you have to kick at the darkness until it bleeds daylight.’ I could never remember the actual line
Oh how wonderful! Goodness how I loved Pippi Longstocking as a child. I'm now thinking child me was smarter than adult me, and I'm going to go find those books and read them again.
Pippi Longstocking!! I haven’t thought about those stories for ages. My older sister had two red braids when she was a kid. I thought the books were about her until I learned to read!
Here is my quote: “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” -- Viktor Frankl
I have this quote printed on a wriggly piece of paper. I first came across it in my Non-violent Communication course and I remember saying, Exactly!
I breathe into the idea that I can steer my ship from reaction to response and can choose how I want to be in this world beyond conditioning.
Thank you for sharing Frankl's wisdom here! I have another of his statements on my wall at work: "The last of the human freedoms: to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."
When I read Man's Search for Meaning, I needed to find inspiration...from someone who had their courage and compassion tested to the extreme. Truly, he shares wisdom that works in real, gritty life.
What words, I think about them often, usually at times when I find it hard to believe in the power to choose, but reminding myself of the wisdom and language of VF. Thank you Corie.
I think about them, too and contemplate what that space is. How big is it? How many seconds or nanoseconds do I have before I go into automatic behavior vs. intentional behavior? How can I preprogram my thoughts, retrain my nervous system, and learn to let go of strategies that no longer serve me?
Each morning, before anyone else awakes, I rise and practice meditation, breath work, inner child work, body awareness, and curiosity. These days the words that keep me going on this journey are "compassion" and "progress..."
Victor Frankl…YES! Thank you Corie for surfacing this wise, wise man into the conversation. So appropriate! I use his quote often in my life as well; and when I was a teacher.
I shared one in this round of comments (a piece of indigenous wisdom about asking for help and kindness). The other is a line from Paulo Freire's Pedagogy of the Oppressed: "Here, no one teaches another, nor is anyone self-taught. People teach each other, mediated by the world,..." which is more than one sentence, as you can see. And also requires more context to appreciate fully.
“You don’t need clarity; you need courage.” Those words formed in my mind as I prayed for clarity about what to do: married nearly 20 years, two young children, ordained in a denomination in which it was not okay to be gay. Which I was realizing I was. At the time, I though the voice was God’s ... now I think perhaps it was my own wisdom, either arising from deep within, or from years in the future, assuring me I knew what I needed to do to be alive, and that everything (and everyone) else would follow. The voice was right; I stepped into the decisions and risks, allowing courage to flow in as I leapt.
Thank you Tammerie - how good to read this. Your own wisdom, and your own future speaking back to yourself; I like that idea, an internal conversation that goes backwards and forwards in time.
Thanks, friend. It’s happened more than once ... I’ve come to believe in it. Time is a construct, and consciousness a field in which we are waves? Why not?
Wow, Tammerie. Thank you for this!! I can relate to being in a place of “praying for clarity” when it really was courage I needed to allow myself to make a decision that was very difficult, but undeniably what I wanted/needed to do. Such a powerful framing and phrasing.
The last words of Wendell Berry’s ‘Wild Geese’ - “And we pray, not
for new earth or heaven, but to be
quiet in heart, and in eye
clear. What we need is here.”
Probably the first poem I found all by myself - this touched a deep chord at a critical time in my young career and I have returned to it many times by myself or with groups as a reminder of our innate strength and wisdom, individually and collectively, as well as the strength that comes from my ancestors.
What's echoed through my mind in the last week is this line from Michael Coady, found in Bloodaxe Books Essential Poems from the Staying Alive trilogy (my kids find that title hilarious): "Though there are torturers in the world / There are also musicians."
I heard the voice of Mister Roger's say (paraphrasing): when you see horrifying headlines in the news, look for the helpers. You will always find them.
The only thing to do is respond in whatever small way humanly possible.
"Though there are torturers in the world / There are also musicians." Thanks for this thought, Susie, on these days when we witness the unspeakable pain and wanton murder inflicted on Ukrainians by Putin and his cronies.
Life is a "both-and" deal. The brutality cannot diminish the beauty, nor can the beauty absolve the brutality. I work in a field that reveals a lot of the worst in humanity--the cruelty, the apathy, and the hatred. I frequently stop when I am walking to and fro, to notice the tiny blooms, or the wonderful mini-beasties and bugs that live in my city. Along with all the other stuff, it is always important to me to remember that there is beauty in the world.
“Anything that's human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting and less scary.” -Fred Rogers
I use this to accept my own feelings, and remind my middle school students to do the same.
“Anything’s that human is mentionable…” - this alone is such a powerful and humbling phrase. Browsing all these comments here, I am so grateful to Pádraig for creating and nurturing this community.
This is a lovely quote and a beautiful reminder to talk with each other more about what's really going on. Fred Rogers was another modern day sage, wasn't he? I feel so lucky to have grown up with his wisdom. Thank you for posting it, Joakey!
I love this; in the way that "watch" can be a "watch and stop" but also a simple "watch and notice" ; working on a few levels, an invitation to observation and -- perhaps also -- change.
“Sometimes, to help someone to heal, is to help them to die. It’s helping a person come to completion.” These words were spoken by Jeffrey Yuen, a Daoist priest and teacher of Chinese medicine in an open house for a acupuncture school in 2001. What I heard was - healing is not just about the extension of life by any means necessary, but about supporting someone through the cycles of life. It might mean helping someone to die, in the literal sense, the ending of a life, ie, the blood no longer flows with qi. But I also thought about all the deaths we undergo all the time - the way an old pattern (of behavior, of thinking, of reaction - all of it, of energy flow) must die in order for a new pattern, a new flow, to fully emerge. Maybe it is part of the ego structure that has to die, to allow for a new configuration to emerge. Sometimes pain is the ache of a body preparing to deliver something new, and sometimes we don’t want to just anesthetize it, medicate it, pacify it... sometimes we may need to be the guide helping a person labor this newness into being. As one supporting others in their “healing”, it is about understanding this, for others and also for oneself. This dying is about being alive ... being alive to the ever-changing present, not getting stuck in old ditches or frozen in a repetitive pattern. It’s about opening to the flow of qi. In Jeffery’s words, I also heard “you’re not going to be a savior. Be humble.” I also heard “this is deep work - it’s not some feel good job, it’s about suffering. Are you prepared to step in? The action I took from this sentence I heard: changed my career from high school social studies teaching (which I feared was going to the the death of me, in the literal sense!) and started acupuncture school. Something in me did die. And that allowed this new path to emerge.
Yes, Mona! I think often about these tiny funerals we stage for the selves that no longer serve us. So much can grow in the fertile soil of who we used to be:). Thanks for sharing this.
Yes, Marjorie! It was the On Being episode with adrienne marie brown that got me thinking in this way.
She said, "[M]ushrooms are like, 'This is food, if we can find a way to use it. This could be nourishment.' And when something breaks down in our communities, it’s actually a moment, usually, when something needs nourishing or when something is dead, when something is done, it’s complete, and it needs to be processed back into the whole."
To view the past (in terms of both individuals and communties) as compost felt empowering to me. It carried me from a place of regret and shame to a place of alliance with everything that came before this present moment. If i can grow from something, if I can plant a seed in grief, brokenness, and shame, nothing gets wasted. It's all "processed back into the whole."
I also appreciate your post, Mona. For some time I've been practicing the Taoist meditation technique of the microcosmic orbit. It's about following the breath and qi as it's transformed in our bodies. But also that that cycle is the same as the life cycle of birth to death and back again. Which is the same cycle as that of the cosmos, from primal origin to orbiting, celestial bodies to senescence, and back to unknowable mystery. All is transformation, they say. I read that in your post. Thank you!
What wisdom; that the natural cycle of some things is to end, so therefore the elongation of them is a stretching that isn't true. Thank you Mona. And hallo to you (and your new scarf) from me and mine.
Hallo Pádraig! I hope you are on the mend and feel fully better very soon. The scarf! If I may share... in the meridian system, there is a category of points in the region of the neck known as “windows to the sky” (or “windows to heaven”). They are often associated with the capacity to receive inspiration, the neck being a kind of bridge. This scarf - new-to-me-but-with-it’s-own-history-via-Pádraig - is a perfect adornment and protector of these portals, these passageways, these points of inspiration. Thank you!! :-)
Thank you for this post, Mona. I always appreciate your insights. It sounds like you had one of those moments of utter clarity, when you can see multiple aspects of a thing rather than one or two. I love when that happens! It’s when I feel the most fully alive and present.
Feb 12, 2023·edited Feb 12, 2023Liked by Pádraig Ó Tuama
To be old is a glorious thing when one has not unlearned what it means to begin
~Martin Buber~
I came upon this line as I neared the age of 50, realizing choices needed to be made about whether to be bitter, bear grudges and hold on to baggage because it's tempting to collect them as we age. Instead I started to carry a prayer that goes something like this - For whatever years I have left on earth, may I learn to be a late bloomer for the rest of my life.
I'm two years shy of fifty myself, and I will remember these lines Amy. I love Buber's work (I often remember the line "I consider the Tree" where he then speaks to the Tree as a Thou), but this line hadn't ever struck me until you offered it like this. Thank you.
That is beautiful, Amy. My childhood best friend and I used to read Martin Buber and have long discussions. 50 years later I forgot the content and why we loved him so much. But your entry reminds me. Thank you.
"I am a part of all that I have met" - from Ulysses, Allred Lord Tennyson
I love the give and take this implies, that we are all part of this great web of life, that simply being matters, that we all leave our imprint in this world.
With all the quotes from Mister Rogers in these comments, I couldn’t help but think of another when I read your quote from Ulysses: "If you could only sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to the people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.”
A phrase within the final 4 lines of Wonder Woman by Ada Simon
Thank you Poetry Unbound.
"She strutted by in all her strengh and glory, invincible,
eternal, and when I stood up to clap (because who wouldn't have),
she bowed and posed like she knew I needed a myth -
a woman, by a river, indestructible."
the phrase ' like she new I need a myth ' stirs up emotion in me even as I write now because it speaks to me of the experience of countless unexpected encounters throughout life that have reassured me and pierced through pain and remind me of how we are all supported by an inexplicable elemental connection.
And to Poetry Unbound I stand to clap (because who wouldn't.......)
Hope you're with the weather again soon Padraig, IF being under is too weighty.!
I so agree with “like she knew I needed a myth”. Whenever in a struggle, I often go back to the myths that give me courage—Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter and Chronicles of Narnia.
That's great to hear Kathleen how you bring those myths alive for yourself in times of struggle.
In relation to the Ada Limón poem, what moves me so much about "like she knew I needed a myth" are the words 'like she knew I needed'.....it might have been needed anything , a myth, a warming drink., whatever..and of course in this context when the poet names the qualities of the mythical wonder woman it is a bonus.
Its not that I'm averse to myth (in fact just about to publish a little children's book about a Kingfisher , that incorporates a myth.).. but what feeds my soul here is the appreciation of the openness of the poet to that restorative possibility that can come from the most unexpected of sources at any time.
My words into action piece is the action of sharing this example of how words can waken me up to something that is to be really treasured in my life.This is the first time I've shared on any group forum like this.
Ah thanks Liz - yes, I love that line. A friend recently took me to the meeting of three rivers in Co. Wicklow (south of Dublin) where she went to listen and re listen to that Ada Limón poem. It was wonderful to be at a place in Ireland where that poem had been heard and lived into.
From "What You Missed That Day You Were Absent From Fourth Grade" by Brad Aaron Modlin:
The English lesson was that I am is a complete sentence.
I love this sentence! I am. I repeat this to myself when I meditate now. The simple sentence, "I am," tells me I am enough. We are all enough, and perfect, as we are. This simple sentence has helped me to be kind to myself and others.
“I read and walked for miles at night along the beach, writing bad blank verse and searching endlessly for someone wonderful who would step out of the darkness and change my life. It never crossed my mind that that person could be me.” -Anna Quindlen
I heard: This is up to you
I did: Stop drinking
Here and clear for 8 1/2 years❤️.
Feel better and eat some soup, Padraig!
Soup's been cooked and eaten, Jenny! And what amazing lines, and how they have stayed in you. Thank you very much, JNA.
I salute your journey of sobriety, and I am so glad that words helped.
I love this! When I think "Somebody should do something." It is so powerful to remember that I am somebody.
Wow! 8 1/2 years. Bows to you, Jenny for what you heard and what you did. Thank you for sharing. 🙏🏾
Thank you so much, Mona:). Best (and hardest) decision I've ever made!
Amazing, Jenny! What a loving way to listen to yourself and then take that first courageous step. I'm so glad to know you've been "here and clear" for 8 1/2 years - and what a joy it is to have witnessed your presence and clarity in the past few months of getting to know you here and in our small, and powerful writer's group!
❤️Thank you, Friend!
Thank you for sharing and for the wonderful quote.
Beautiful quote, Jenny. Thank you, and congratulations!
Jenny, thank you for sharing this life-changing moment. Kudos to you for 8.5 years of clarity. Wishing you many more.
Clarity is exactly what I call it, Carol! Thank you for your well wishes.
Brava! Your strength and commitment to well-being are an example to all those who know you... and even those of us who do not.
Jenny, Brava to you, to your 8 1/2 years. Thank you for sharing those words that so transformed you. No doubt your voice and light now transform others...
Yeah; it's up to you; but what courage to take that on and not run from it! Brava, Girl!
Thank you for sharing the quote and your insightful, beautiful and courageous response.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting -
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.
This section from Mary Oliver's poem Wild Geese has comforted me in times of extreme loneliness, and still does. Sometimes it can feel like loneliness is unbearable, and you can't possibly keep living in such a state, but knowing that you belong to the world and can go out and be in it gives me strength. I don't doubt that this poem has saved lives.
How many people have lived their lives in the company of these lyrical lines? My god. I bow before their greathearted generosity.
Me too, Pádraig. And company it has been.
I consider Mary Oliver to be a poet of the mystic tradition. Yes, she has saved many lives physically and spiritually, I think.
She certainly has helped save mine, and continues to do so
🙏🏻❤️
Yes! And it also attests to the fact that your words are likely giving strength to others. Words work that way.
The reciprocity of words. These gifts we give to each other.
I want to pop back on here and share something I've written inspired by everyone's comments.
A Word is a Gift: https://somewherealongtheway.substack.com/p/a-word-is-a-gift
“ There is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in” - from Anthem( Leonard Cohen)
All praise the great Leonard.
His 'Book of Mercy' is one of the books I'd take with me anywhere and everywhere.
Leonard Cohen, another modern day mystic... This line propelled me into the thought that I was healable and that all of my life experiences were part of me. That the cracks did not mean I was broken, but that I was opening.
I'm absolutely in alignment with this thought, Corie, and it's taken years and more than a few listens to this gorgeous wisdom from Leonard Cohen to understand it. I love how you explain the meaning here.
Thanks for the reminder, Tony ;)
Ohhh, yes!!! This is one of my favorite inspirations of all time.
Thank you for the reminder.
My sentence lately has been "Grief is the price we pay for love". by Queen Elizabeth II. Each day that I am alive and my youngest son is not is a reminder of the incredible intense joy and heartbreak of this temporary life. I must say much of the poetry that has opened my eyes in the past few years has been thanks to Padraig's sharing and teaching. Thank you for this.
For 25 years, I have been saying grieving is part of the gift of loving, but I never realized Queen Elizabeth said, "Grief is the price we pay for love." Thank you for her perspective and yours. Thank you for sharing your heartbreak. I join you in gratitude for poetry.
I’m so happy to see this here... I was just thinking of the version of that line that I first (mis)heard: ‘you have to kick at the darkness until it bleeds daylight.’ I could never remember the actual line
I like your line.
Thank you for reminding me of this! So beautiful! So true!
“I have never tried that before, so I think I should definitely be able to do that.”
Astrid Lindgren, Pippi Longstocking
I heard my heart singing the sound of joy!
I opened up, saw with new eyes a different perspective, and found the courage to live fully.
Oh Pippi. Yes -- to live a life open to open. It is for children, it is also not just for children. You're reminding me to go back and read.
Enjoy!!
Oh how wonderful! Goodness how I loved Pippi Longstocking as a child. I'm now thinking child me was smarter than adult me, and I'm going to go find those books and read them again.
Pippi Longstocking!! I haven’t thought about those stories for ages. My older sister had two red braids when she was a kid. I thought the books were about her until I learned to read!
So good🌱
The wonder of reading Pippi.
And then a month later, read her again.
On repeat.
Here is my quote: “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” -- Viktor Frankl
I have this quote printed on a wriggly piece of paper. I first came across it in my Non-violent Communication course and I remember saying, Exactly!
I breathe into the idea that I can steer my ship from reaction to response and can choose how I want to be in this world beyond conditioning.
Thank you for sharing Frankl's wisdom here! I have another of his statements on my wall at work: "The last of the human freedoms: to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."
When I read Man's Search for Meaning, I needed to find inspiration...from someone who had their courage and compassion tested to the extreme. Truly, he shares wisdom that works in real, gritty life.
What words, I think about them often, usually at times when I find it hard to believe in the power to choose, but reminding myself of the wisdom and language of VF. Thank you Corie.
I think about them, too and contemplate what that space is. How big is it? How many seconds or nanoseconds do I have before I go into automatic behavior vs. intentional behavior? How can I preprogram my thoughts, retrain my nervous system, and learn to let go of strategies that no longer serve me?
Each morning, before anyone else awakes, I rise and practice meditation, breath work, inner child work, body awareness, and curiosity. These days the words that keep me going on this journey are "compassion" and "progress..."
Victor Frankl…YES! Thank you Corie for surfacing this wise, wise man into the conversation. So appropriate! I use his quote often in my life as well; and when I was a teacher.
Such a great sentence, indeed. Thanks. When I read Padraig's question, three sentences came to mind. This was one of them.
What were your others ones?
I shared one in this round of comments (a piece of indigenous wisdom about asking for help and kindness). The other is a line from Paulo Freire's Pedagogy of the Oppressed: "Here, no one teaches another, nor is anyone self-taught. People teach each other, mediated by the world,..." which is more than one sentence, as you can see. And also requires more context to appreciate fully.
So beautiful and so true! Thank you for sharing this wisdom, Corie.
Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the song without words and never stops at all Emily Dickinson ❤️
I adore Emily Dickinson’s poetry, but the imagery that those lines convey is a particular joy for me!
I love that quote. It moves me into misery and into song!
“You don’t need clarity; you need courage.” Those words formed in my mind as I prayed for clarity about what to do: married nearly 20 years, two young children, ordained in a denomination in which it was not okay to be gay. Which I was realizing I was. At the time, I though the voice was God’s ... now I think perhaps it was my own wisdom, either arising from deep within, or from years in the future, assuring me I knew what I needed to do to be alive, and that everything (and everyone) else would follow. The voice was right; I stepped into the decisions and risks, allowing courage to flow in as I leapt.
Thank you Tammerie - how good to read this. Your own wisdom, and your own future speaking back to yourself; I like that idea, an internal conversation that goes backwards and forwards in time.
Thanks, friend. It’s happened more than once ... I’ve come to believe in it. Time is a construct, and consciousness a field in which we are waves? Why not?
"I knew what I needed to do to be alive." So powerful. Thank you for sharing this.
Wow, Tammerie. Thank you for this!! I can relate to being in a place of “praying for clarity” when it really was courage I needed to allow myself to make a decision that was very difficult, but undeniably what I wanted/needed to do. Such a powerful framing and phrasing.
The last words of Wendell Berry’s ‘Wild Geese’ - “And we pray, not
for new earth or heaven, but to be
quiet in heart, and in eye
clear. What we need is here.”
Probably the first poem I found all by myself - this touched a deep chord at a critical time in my young career and I have returned to it many times by myself or with groups as a reminder of our innate strength and wisdom, individually and collectively, as well as the strength that comes from my ancestors.
How gorgeous. Thank you Winton. Quiet in heart. Yes.
“Probably the first poem I found all by myself...”. So good!
What's echoed through my mind in the last week is this line from Michael Coady, found in Bloodaxe Books Essential Poems from the Staying Alive trilogy (my kids find that title hilarious): "Though there are torturers in the world / There are also musicians."
I heard the voice of Mister Roger's say (paraphrasing): when you see horrifying headlines in the news, look for the helpers. You will always find them.
The only thing to do is respond in whatever small way humanly possible.
Those Bloodaxe anthologies are extraordinary - and I love the linking of MC with Mr Rogers.
"Though there are torturers in the world / There are also musicians." Thanks for this thought, Susie, on these days when we witness the unspeakable pain and wanton murder inflicted on Ukrainians by Putin and his cronies.
Life is a "both-and" deal. The brutality cannot diminish the beauty, nor can the beauty absolve the brutality. I work in a field that reveals a lot of the worst in humanity--the cruelty, the apathy, and the hatred. I frequently stop when I am walking to and fro, to notice the tiny blooms, or the wonderful mini-beasties and bugs that live in my city. Along with all the other stuff, it is always important to me to remember that there is beauty in the world.
Thanks Leanna. We must not forget that everything belongs though we may not understand it all.
Or wish it were otherwise...
“Anything that's human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting and less scary.” -Fred Rogers
I use this to accept my own feelings, and remind my middle school students to do the same.
What a magnificence Mr Rogers is.
Wow, I also thought of Fred Rogers. What a human.
“Anything’s that human is mentionable…” - this alone is such a powerful and humbling phrase. Browsing all these comments here, I am so grateful to Pádraig for creating and nurturing this community.
This is a lovely quote and a beautiful reminder to talk with each other more about what's really going on. Fred Rogers was another modern day sage, wasn't he? I feel so lucky to have grown up with his wisdom. Thank you for posting it, Joakey!
Lisa, I agree that Fred Rogers was a modern day sage!
"Watch how your mind judges."--Ram Dass
I've been cultivating my interior Witness, trying to make her my friend. It's a practice; I carry her in my heart.
I love this; in the way that "watch" can be a "watch and stop" but also a simple "watch and notice" ; working on a few levels, an invitation to observation and -- perhaps also -- change.
That is a wise quote to hold daily. The mind is such a judgement machine.
It is such a practice! Once in a while I just want to kick myself, as in ~ how could I think that🤦🏽♀️
“Sometimes, to help someone to heal, is to help them to die. It’s helping a person come to completion.” These words were spoken by Jeffrey Yuen, a Daoist priest and teacher of Chinese medicine in an open house for a acupuncture school in 2001. What I heard was - healing is not just about the extension of life by any means necessary, but about supporting someone through the cycles of life. It might mean helping someone to die, in the literal sense, the ending of a life, ie, the blood no longer flows with qi. But I also thought about all the deaths we undergo all the time - the way an old pattern (of behavior, of thinking, of reaction - all of it, of energy flow) must die in order for a new pattern, a new flow, to fully emerge. Maybe it is part of the ego structure that has to die, to allow for a new configuration to emerge. Sometimes pain is the ache of a body preparing to deliver something new, and sometimes we don’t want to just anesthetize it, medicate it, pacify it... sometimes we may need to be the guide helping a person labor this newness into being. As one supporting others in their “healing”, it is about understanding this, for others and also for oneself. This dying is about being alive ... being alive to the ever-changing present, not getting stuck in old ditches or frozen in a repetitive pattern. It’s about opening to the flow of qi. In Jeffery’s words, I also heard “you’re not going to be a savior. Be humble.” I also heard “this is deep work - it’s not some feel good job, it’s about suffering. Are you prepared to step in? The action I took from this sentence I heard: changed my career from high school social studies teaching (which I feared was going to the the death of me, in the literal sense!) and started acupuncture school. Something in me did die. And that allowed this new path to emerge.
Yes, Mona! I think often about these tiny funerals we stage for the selves that no longer serve us. So much can grow in the fertile soil of who we used to be:). Thanks for sharing this.
Yes, Marjorie! It was the On Being episode with adrienne marie brown that got me thinking in this way.
She said, "[M]ushrooms are like, 'This is food, if we can find a way to use it. This could be nourishment.' And when something breaks down in our communities, it’s actually a moment, usually, when something needs nourishing or when something is dead, when something is done, it’s complete, and it needs to be processed back into the whole."
To view the past (in terms of both individuals and communties) as compost felt empowering to me. It carried me from a place of regret and shame to a place of alliance with everything that came before this present moment. If i can grow from something, if I can plant a seed in grief, brokenness, and shame, nothing gets wasted. It's all "processed back into the whole."
Food for thought...literally🤣.
literally! i love that. and the compost metaphor really helps me immensely too. 🌱
I also appreciate your post, Mona. For some time I've been practicing the Taoist meditation technique of the microcosmic orbit. It's about following the breath and qi as it's transformed in our bodies. But also that that cycle is the same as the life cycle of birth to death and back again. Which is the same cycle as that of the cosmos, from primal origin to orbiting, celestial bodies to senescence, and back to unknowable mystery. All is transformation, they say. I read that in your post. Thank you!
and thank you!
“All is transformation” - indeed, yes! That’s all. ps: I love the microcosmic orbit practice too.
What wisdom; that the natural cycle of some things is to end, so therefore the elongation of them is a stretching that isn't true. Thank you Mona. And hallo to you (and your new scarf) from me and mine.
Hallo Pádraig! I hope you are on the mend and feel fully better very soon. The scarf! If I may share... in the meridian system, there is a category of points in the region of the neck known as “windows to the sky” (or “windows to heaven”). They are often associated with the capacity to receive inspiration, the neck being a kind of bridge. This scarf - new-to-me-but-with-it’s-own-history-via-Pádraig - is a perfect adornment and protector of these portals, these passageways, these points of inspiration. Thank you!! :-)
Thank you for this post, Mona. I always appreciate your insights. It sounds like you had one of those moments of utter clarity, when you can see multiple aspects of a thing rather than one or two. I love when that happens! It’s when I feel the most fully alive and present.
How kind of you to say, Mandy! And I think - yess!
To be old is a glorious thing when one has not unlearned what it means to begin
~Martin Buber~
I came upon this line as I neared the age of 50, realizing choices needed to be made about whether to be bitter, bear grudges and hold on to baggage because it's tempting to collect them as we age. Instead I started to carry a prayer that goes something like this - For whatever years I have left on earth, may I learn to be a late bloomer for the rest of my life.
I'm two years shy of fifty myself, and I will remember these lines Amy. I love Buber's work (I often remember the line "I consider the Tree" where he then speaks to the Tree as a Thou), but this line hadn't ever struck me until you offered it like this. Thank you.
That is beautiful, Amy. My childhood best friend and I used to read Martin Buber and have long discussions. 50 years later I forgot the content and why we loved him so much. But your entry reminds me. Thank you.
Oooohhhh I love your childhood practice with your friend and love that this touched your memory!
Amy, I feel every day those words “late bloomer” about myself! Now 80, I only hope I live long enough to grow up.
As long as "growing up includes new beginnings any age holds possibilities right?
"I am a part of all that I have met" - from Ulysses, Allred Lord Tennyson
I love the give and take this implies, that we are all part of this great web of life, that simply being matters, that we all leave our imprint in this world.
With all the quotes from Mister Rogers in these comments, I couldn’t help but think of another when I read your quote from Ulysses: "If you could only sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to the people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.”
Thank you for your comment, Paul. Men of wisdom -- Mr. Rogers and Lord Alfred! It gives meaningfulness to our short duration on earth .
A phrase within the final 4 lines of Wonder Woman by Ada Simon
Thank you Poetry Unbound.
"She strutted by in all her strengh and glory, invincible,
eternal, and when I stood up to clap (because who wouldn't have),
she bowed and posed like she knew I needed a myth -
a woman, by a river, indestructible."
the phrase ' like she new I need a myth ' stirs up emotion in me even as I write now because it speaks to me of the experience of countless unexpected encounters throughout life that have reassured me and pierced through pain and remind me of how we are all supported by an inexplicable elemental connection.
And to Poetry Unbound I stand to clap (because who wouldn't.......)
Hope you're with the weather again soon Padraig, IF being under is too weighty.!
Thank you all for enriching sharings.
I so agree with “like she knew I needed a myth”. Whenever in a struggle, I often go back to the myths that give me courage—Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter and Chronicles of Narnia.
I will track down this one as well.
And to Poetry Unbound— Thank you!
That's great to hear Kathleen how you bring those myths alive for yourself in times of struggle.
In relation to the Ada Limón poem, what moves me so much about "like she knew I needed a myth" are the words 'like she knew I needed'.....it might have been needed anything , a myth, a warming drink., whatever..and of course in this context when the poet names the qualities of the mythical wonder woman it is a bonus.
Its not that I'm averse to myth (in fact just about to publish a little children's book about a Kingfisher , that incorporates a myth.).. but what feeds my soul here is the appreciation of the openness of the poet to that restorative possibility that can come from the most unexpected of sources at any time.
My words into action piece is the action of sharing this example of how words can waken me up to something that is to be really treasured in my life.This is the first time I've shared on any group forum like this.
thank you for your sharing..Liz
Ah thanks Liz - yes, I love that line. A friend recently took me to the meeting of three rivers in Co. Wicklow (south of Dublin) where she went to listen and re listen to that Ada Limón poem. It was wonderful to be at a place in Ireland where that poem had been heard and lived into.
From "What You Missed That Day You Were Absent From Fourth Grade" by Brad Aaron Modlin:
The English lesson was that I am is a complete sentence.
I love this sentence! I am. I repeat this to myself when I meditate now. The simple sentence, "I am," tells me I am enough. We are all enough, and perfect, as we are. This simple sentence has helped me to be kind to myself and others.
Brad's work is so good. I love that you love this line Lucie.
Yes! So good.
I love that poem.